So many things going through my head. I feel so close to saying those 3 small words that mean so much, but yet I feel so far away. I want to just dive in and say them, but I have to make sure that I mean them before I say them. Trust me, I have such strong feelings for John, but before I say "I love you" I just have to make sure. I'm so afraid of my heart getting broken again, and I'm so afraid to take the "lovers leap" because of it. I want this to be final...and I think and hope it could be...I'm just so afraid of loosing him. I know I talk continuously about past relationships, but that's all that I know. I'm so lucky for having found him that I just want it to remain.,..and I'm so just terrified that it's all going to crumble in front of me like it usually does. The fact that someone might like me...well, it's overwhelming....never thought anyone could like me again....let alone love. But John...he's just awesome...that's all I can say, and that's where I'll leave this.
1 year ago